Sunday, August 18, 2024

I don’t believe that I deserve better.


I feel like it’s too much to ask. But I have to hold on to faith that God has planned a future for me. A plan to prosper. And not a plan to ruin me. I will try to believe with this little faith. 


I don’t believe I am meant for something great. 


I made a lot of mistakes in the past. I have been betrayed, fooled, lied to, played out, and disrespected. But I tried to forgave and held on for change. But the change never happened. Things got worst with every turn, I lost hope. Now I don’t know if there is any greatness that I belong to. 


I don’t believe in pure love. 


I think love can never be unconditional. I think love should always be a give and take. You cannot love and never ask anything in return. But that’s selfish. I learned that love is not meant to be that way. Love is sacrifice. Love is giving. Love is not selfish. Love is losing. 


I lost. But I need to gain faith. I need to believe. 

I can’t see it yet, but I will try… I will try to believe once again. 


But He said to them, “Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?” Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. ~ Matthew 8:26 




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